28.
Trump Magazine
Launched: 2007
Service rendered: Entertainment for
luxury-enthusiasts
Years in business: 2-ish
What went wrong: The magazine launched
in late 2007—just after his mortgage company was forced to shut its doors.
Most people might see a failing market
and a just-failed business venture as a sign that maybe it’s not a great time
to start a print publication dependent on a general interest in luxury goods.
Donald Trump, however, is not most people.
While the magazine “saw early success,
cashing in on the booming advertising market for yachts and other high-end
commodities” (at least according to the closing press release),
In actuality, it... did not. As it
turns out, people suffering from a major recession aren’t too keen on “yachts”
or “high-end commodities” or “anything that requires money.” Who knew.
29.
Trump University
Launched: 2005
Service rendered: For-profit, non-accredited
fake business degrees
Years in business: 6
What went wrong: For a “school” that
can’t actually give you any sort of recognized degree, $35,000 is a hell of a
lot of money to spend on tuition.
Especially when that school, according to the
lawsuit four students filed against the business in 2010, consists of classes
described as
“Extended infomercials,” sells
“non-accredited products,” and takes “advantage of these troubled economic
times to prey on consumer’s fears.”
Once the lawsuit hit, state education
officials started hammering the school for operating under the name
“university,” since it was never chartered as such and was operating as an
“illegal educational institution.”
So that same year, Trump changed the name to
the Trump Entrepreneur Initiative. Already outed as a fraud, though, the
business shut down a year later.
30.
Trump Ice
Launched: 2004
Service rendered: Hydration
Years in business: Less than 1
What went wrong: In 2004, Donald Trump
decided that people were crazy about the water available in his hotels and
casinos, announcing that “it was so good that people wanted to buy cases of
it.”
Attempts to distribute widely failed, and the
water is once again relegated to Trump’s own properties.
31.
The New Jersey Generals
Owner: 1984-1985
Service rendered: Football
Years in business: 2
What went wrong: Since Trump couldn’t
buy an NFL team of his own, he settled on the next best thing—the short-lived
United States Football League established to challenge the NFL.
Realizing he had a million other
projects on his plate, though, Trump quickly sold the team only to buy them back
again in the very same year.
Things only got worse from there,
according to Business Insider, “The team folded one year later, in 1985, along
with the entire USFL.
People blamed Trump for the demise of not only
the team, but the entire league. Allegedly,
He was trying to pull the Generals
into the NFL — and made poor investment decisions in the process.”
Talking about the ordeal now, Trump
notes that he “did something I rarely do with the USFL. I went into something
that was not good.”
As rare as every single endeavor on
this list.
32.
Tour de Trump
The first year, which sent riders from
Albany to Atlantic City, actually managed to bring in some bag names, but
unfortunately for Donald Trump, he just didn’t have the money to keep his name
attached.
Two years after starting the circuit,
he was forced to sell his race to the DuPont Corporation, which then changed
the name and removed every last trace of Trump
33.
Trump on the Ocean
Launched: 2012
Service rendered: Restaurant/catering
hall
Years in business: 0.3
What went wrong: Located on the
boardwalk in Jones Beach, Long Island, the gargantuan dining space totaled
80,000-square-feet with a 14,000-square-foot basement,
All of which we’re sure
looked great for the four months before Hurricane Sandy hit.
According to Eater, the state had actually
shot down Trump’s proposal four separate times since 2006.
Once the hurricane took down Trump,
though, he agreed to kill his plan—much to the delight of the surrounding
community who never wanted it there in the first place.
34.
The Trump Network
Launched: 2009
Service rendered: Vitamin pyramid
scheme
Years in business: 2
What went wrong: Since the folding of
Trump Magazine proved that people clearly didn’t have money to spare after the
bubble burst, Trump decided to change strategies.
With the Trump Network, Trump offered
a get-rich-quick scheme centered around what else but nutritional supplements.
The motto: Discover the Difference between Opportunity and Success.
The supplements came from Ideal
Health, Inc, which Trump purchased in 2009. In addition to the supplements,
though, Trump also offered the PrivaTest, which Trump’s site described as “a
scientific window into your personal biochemistry.”
A test that the Trump Network
recommended be repeated every nine months for $100 a pop, which would be
outrageous even if the test actually worked.
But as Dr. Stephen Barrett, of health watchdog
site Quackwatch, noted, “No single test can provide a rational basis for dietary
supplement recommendations.”
What’s more, the company didn’t even
deliver on its promised scam. A FOIA by Quackwatch in 2004 turned up the
following complaint on Ideal Health filed in 2001:
The consumer states that she was
working for this company trying to sell their dietary supplement products.
The consumer states that she paid the
company $5,412.50 for promotional leads, and marketing programs.
The consumer states that the company
never did the promotional leads, and took the consumers [sic] money and ran
And that’s what Donald Trump decided
would be a great investment.
Trumped!
Launched: 2004
Service rendered: Talk radio
Years in business: 4
What went wrong: Trump’s radio “show”
was really just a two-minute-long segment (sponsored by Office Depot) of Donald
Trump talking about whatever came into his head.
Donald Trump, however, called it “the
biggest launch in radio history.”
Buzzfeed recently tried to secure
audio of the Trump’s hours of archived programs but couldn’t nail anything down
but the demo.
So we may never know exactly what
Trump decided to share with the masses (since absolutely no one ever tuned in),
but judging by segment descriptions such as “No More Viagra for Rapists”
And “Stay out of the tabloids and, for
goodness sake, don’t say hello to those little boys” (referring to Michael
Jackson), it sounds like his stump speeches are the next best thing.
36.
Trump New Media
Almost launched: 1998
Service rendered: Video-on-demand and
high-speed internet
Years in business: None
What went wrong: Eager to get in on
the exciting world of the information superhighway, Donald Trump was apparently
about to dip his toes into the ISP world back in the summer of 1998,
Announcing that the newly formed Trump
New Media would “wire his 20,000 residential apartments with high speed $30
monthly access”,
And sure, Trump could have gone with
something vaguely within his realm of expertise—but why break with tradition?
A local announcement at the time wrote
that “Trump admits he’s hardly the man to head a new media firm.
‘I’ll tell you
what I know about it: Absolutely nothing.’”
He partnered with Freelinq
Communications to launch the firm, but after getting shut out by his more
competent competition, the endeavor failed to ever take off.
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