21.
“Trump Steaks”
Launched: 2007
Service rendered: Steaks
Years in business: 1
What went wrong: Trump filed the
trademark nearly ten years ago, noting that it would be used for “meat, namely,
beef, veal, lamb, and pork.” The meat itself came from the Sysco-owned Buckhead
Beef, and after first (and presumably, unsuccessfully) attempting to sell the
Trump-branded meat on a custom steak-centric website... ...
Trump
decided to work out an exclusive deal with—where else but—The Sharper Image. A
bizarre pairing, sure, but The Sharper Image had nothing to lose. From Think
Progress:
[Sharper Image CEO Jerry] Levin
described the licensing agreement as “unique,” noting that it lacked the kinds
of things he had seen in traditional agreements, like minimums, which would
have required the Sharper Image to pay the Trump Organization a set amount
regardless of how many steaks they sold.
As you would expect of anything worthy
of bearing the Trump name, the steaks didn’t come cheap. For instance, $1,000
would buy you 24 burgers, 16 steaks, and the dull pangs of regret.
For whatever reason, the wildly
expensive steaks sold by a novelty electronics chain didn’t fly off the
shelves. Or, as Levin put it, “The net of all that [media attention] was we
literally sold almost no steaks,” Levin said. “If we sold $50,000 of steaks grand
total, I’d be surprised.”
But how did they taste? According to
one reviewer, “They are really greasy, have no flavor, over-priced and just
gross!!”
22.
GoTrump.com
Launched: 2006
Service rendered: Travel search engine
Years in business: 1
What went wrong: Remember Orbitz?
Expedia? What about Travelocity? GoTrump.com provided exactly the same service
but with significantly more Trump (i.e. pictures of his face, a delightful
mustard-gold trim,
and “Trump Picks,” which highlighted “specific hotels and
vacation packages that are his personal favorites”).
As Trump explained in the website’s
About section, “I only put my name on the best, and at GoTrump.com you will get
the best information and the best online rate available.” Unfortunately for the
Donald,
“the best” doesn’t really mean much of anything when you’re boasting
both private jets and cheap hotel deals.
When the site launched, a financial
analyst told The Washington Post that it seemed like “a vanity site” that
“won’t make much money.” He was right. The site shut down the following year.
23.
Trump Airlines
Launched: 1989
Service rendered: Hourly flights
between Boston, New York City, and Washington D.C.
Years in business: 4-ish
What went wrong: This was another case
of Donald Trump attempting to turn a service that already exists into something
a little more Trump-y. But this time, rather than build something entirely new,
Trump purchased Eastern Air Lines
Shuttle, which had been offering hourly flights on the East Coast since 1961
with moderate success. That all changed with Trump’s magic touch.
24.
The airline had succeeded largely
because of its no-frills service—you didn’t need a reservation ahead of time,
there were no seat assignments, no check-ins, and no boarding passes.
You’d show up and hop on a plane for
relatively cheap. When Trump bought 17 of the company’s Boeing 727s for $365
million in 1988, “he added maple-wood veneer to the floors, chrome seat-belt
latches and gold-colored bathroom fixtures.”
Apparently, customers who appreciated
the service’s ease weren’t into the over-the-top makeover.
Alienated customers
combined with the high fuel prices of the late 80s translated to Trump Airlines
never turning a profit. As Time explains,
“The high debt forced Trump to default on his
loans, and ownership of the company was turned over to creditors.
The Trump
Shuttle ceased to exist in 1992 when it was merged into a new corporation,
Shuttle Inc. No word on whether the gold-plated faucets survived the merger.”
25.
Trump Vodka
Launched: 2006
Service Rendered: Drunk
Years in business: 5
What went wrong: After labeling the
drink as “The World’s Finest Super Premium Vodka” and proudly
quintuple-distilling it in Holland from “select European wheat,”
Trump was proudly telling anyone who’d listen
that T&Ts (Trump and tonic) were about to become the number one drink in
the country.
Trump was supposedly attempting to
rival Grey Goose for a spot on the nation’s top shelves. No one else seemed to
have gotten that message, though, and the drink went out of production in 2011
when no one ever wanted to drink it.
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